We have a list of potential baby names, saved in a document on Brian’s phone for easy access when inspiration strikes. A few have been sitting in our minds for a decade, since we thought about kids plenty in the years we tried to cling to hope and prayed that they would come. 

Some were apparently really good ideas, as everyone else also thought so in the intervening years, and now those names are running and crawling all around out there. We don’t prefer names that are too popular in general, especially with a not-so-creative last name like Miller, so those are out by default, and then of course if the names are too popular in our proximity, it doesn’t work so well either. For example, Oliver would have been at the top of the boy list, but now there are at least four in our close circles (two of whom are nephews). 

Names have to be phonetic — if you see it, you can say it (I know, I know, Kiah is pushing it a little). Names also have to pass the Brett Test, where we assess how/if Brian’s brother could make fun of the kid’s name (not that he would, but how easily he could come up with something), and thereby the baby’s future susceptibility to societal nicknames. 

And then of course, we want it to sound nice, to have someone or something meaningful attached to it, to yell well. We have to have male and female names ready, since only the ultrasound tech, midwives, and Jesus know what the baby is, but I am fairly confident of both the boy and girl options I have for Green Bean. I’m still just waiting for Brian to come up with (what I consider to be) good ideas. 

One he’s been lackadaisically tossing out there lately, mostly in jest — I think — is Valentine. It would be a family name, hearkening back to Brian’s great-grandpa, so that’s sweet. I’m just not sure “sweet” is enough to get our potential son away from the vibes of Valentine’s Day.

To be fair, Valentine’s Day does have rich value attached to it, far beyond sappy cards and stale sweetheart candies (which honestly I think are delightful), far beyond roses and chocolates (again, actually pretty delightful). The choice that husbands and wives make to love each other is worth celebrating far more than once a year. Even when the celebrated love is not romantic, like between parents and children, classmates, or however valentines are sent, it’s important to tell the people that we love. Clearly a little more true love in action would not be a bad thing these days.

We have Saint Valentine to thank for this reminder to say “I love you,” although specific details of who he really was are uncertain. One of the three Valentine contenders was a priest in Rome who, upon the emperor outlawing marriage for young men since they make better soldiers without a family, continued to marry couples in secret. The two other now-sainted Valentines were also brave third-century Italians who put their faith and other people above their own safety, all resulting in a martyr’s execution. According to History.com, “Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories all emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic and—most importantly—romantic figure.”

So okay, not the worst guy to have associated with a name. I’ll think it over…while I enjoy a little extra dark chocolate and some pink tea. 

Salty Pink Kashmiri Chai

This tea is something else! We got to experience it at a Pakistani cafe, and I was immediately enchanted. Though not culturally a Valentine’s Day drink, it’s a surprising pink color, so I think it’s perfect — and in its Kashmir region of origin, potential daughters-in-law can be judged on their ability to make it, so if it goes well, that can be romantic. The tea color is created by chemistry, is served piping hot, is a little nutty, and is both sweet and salty, so it continues to lend itself to punny Valentine’s similes. 

Prep tips: this is not the spicy chai we are more accustomed to, so be prepared. Don’t skip the nuts; strange as it seems, they are essential. 

• 4 c cold water

• 2 T plain green tea leaves

• ¼ t baking soda

• 6 cardamom pods, crushed

• 1 cinnamon stick, broken

• 3 c milk

• ¼ t pink salt

• sugar/sweetener to taste

• ¼ c crushed pistachios and/or almonds

In a stainless steel pot, bring water, tea, baking soda, cardamom, and cinnamon to a rolling boil. Simmer vigorously for 10-15 minutes, until the liquid reduces by about half — hopefully it will be a very dark reddish color. Remove from the heat, and carefully pour back and forth between another pot or something for a couple minutes, to aerate and lightly froth it. This will probably be a mild catastrophe. Pour this through a fine-mesh strainer, and return to the pot; add the milk and salt and bring just back to a simmer at the edges. Aerate again by pouring back and forth a few times, then pour into cups. Stir in sugar to taste, and garnish with the chopped nuts. 

Amanda Miller lives with her husband, two young children, and whoever else God brings them through foster care on the family dairy farm in Hutchinson. She enjoys doing some catering, teaching cooking classes, and freelancing, but mostly chasing after her kids. Reach her at hyperpeanutbutter@gmail.com.